How can a person feel so much and nothing at all.
I’m scared things are getting better as utterly ridiculous as that sounds.
I want to be damaged and messed up in the head cause it makes me real.
I am a dark and angry red in a Dead Sea of greys convinced they are a rainbow.
People like to pretend they see, but everyone’s walking around in the darkest shade of sunglasses they can find claiming they see the light.
These people are foolish and my body is begging to float in the waves of their lies but my mind keeps pushing me to swim further and further down.
Problem is I’m drowning.
I can’t see myself going on in life day to day convinced I’m happy and successful but I come home to a bottle of prescription meds every night and a glass of whiskey as my security blanket.
I’d rather be angry for the rest of my life lost in myself because at least I’d know better than any one of these drones out here.
I’d rather live life knowing I’m a soulless creature rather than spend my whole life trying to find my soul. It’s fucked up and insane.
But I never claimed to be otherwise.
— The Thought Process (ohyeahtotes)